TEPC PhD event with Antiuniversity 2018

Well it’s been a long time since our last posting but The Existentialist Plumbers’ Collective is back! This time we ran our Antiuniversity event at the delightful Gordon House, Margate.

Participants were invited to,

“join our competently under-qualified staff to achieve your PhD in only one workshop session! Plumb the depths of your existential crisis, try your hand at simple subversion techniques, enjoy practical workshops in interventions into the everyday and manifesto writing. In a time of crisis the absurd makes so much sense. You will have the opportunity to discuss fascinating topics such as, can one ascend the heights of existentialism without a step-ladder, plumbing your way out of the patriarchy, installing your own parallel universe and chipping off the old block. Work collectively to research, create, edit and review your own publication and graduate with full honours. Because who needs to pay thousands of pounds a term to become an expert existentialist plumber when you can get a certificate in Plunging, hammering and Discussion and produce your ‘thesis’ as a collective in one afternoon?”

We subverted everyday objects and researched new ways so plumb the depths of our existential crisis.

Thank you everyone who came and congratulations to the new graduates of TEPC!

Happy plumbing!

Plumber’s Digest is here!

If you ever wondered what is the Existentialist Plumbers’s choice of read, then look no further: It is The Plumber’s Digest of course! And what’s even better is that you can now get your own copy by pooping by…I mean, popping by…our Plumbers’ Parlour this Saturday 6pm as part of Femfest at Ugly Duck.

This first edition of the Plumber’s Digest was created collectively by our PhD (Plumbing, drilling and Hammering) candidates at AntiUniversity in London, June 2017. It documents our efforts in subverting every day tools and technologies for tackling contemporary existential dread and crisis.

And it comes with a free hair band! What’s not to like!?

Get yours at Femfest on Saturday. And stay tuned, as we will soon publish our plans for the next publication…

Plumber’s Digest launch at the Plumbers’ Parlour on Saturday 9th Sept 6pm

This is real: The Plumber’s Digest is finally here, hot off the press! To celebrate the occasion we are holding an official zine launch at the Plumbers’ Parlour this Saturday 9th September 6pm. To get your hands on this much coveted publication, direct yourself to Ugly Duck on 47/49 Tanner Street SE1 3PL, where you can purchase a copy and become a proud owner of the first ever Plumber’s Digest. We hear it is fated to become a collector’s item!

During the evening 6pm – 8 pm The Existentialist Plumbers Collective will host the Plumbers’ Parlour where you can discuss your existentialist plumbing needs, or simply relax to the soothing soundtrack of flushing toilets. We also offer you the opportunity to enjoy reading and contemplating the Plumber’s Digest. Should inspiration strike, we will provide you with the finest quality Existentialist Plumbers’ toilet paper for noting down your ideas, dreams and thoughts.

The Plumbers’ Parlour is part of Femfest that runs 8th – 10th September – to find out what else is on, please have a look at the event schedule.

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TEPC proudly presents: Our AntiUni PhD graduates

The Existentialist Plumbers` Collective is proud to present some of our AntiUniversity 2017 graduates with their PhD certificates and tools of the trade. As you can see we had a little bit of a flooding accident, resulting in these wonderful, underwater themed graduation pictures. What could be more appropriate!

Congratulations all! We hope your Existentialist Plumbing training will become handy.

graduates

 

Three reasons to sign up for the Existentialist Plumbers` Collective PhD

The Existentialist Plumbers Collective is running a PhD course as part of Antiuniversity this weekend. It is free. It is probably the fastest PhD course you could get yourself on, taking only three hours to complete. And at the end of it you will receive your very own PhD certificate!

Now if this didn’t convince you already, here are three important reasons to sign up to learning about Existentialist Plumbing now:

1. Because you exist, but don`t know what to do with your existence.

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2. Because leaky pipes can in the end cause flooding, even if just existentially. And nobody likes a flood.

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3. And finally, because your existential angst may have left you feeling excluded, ignored and left out.

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So don`t just stand out there, peering in. Join us and learn about making your own tools and manuals for navigating this thing called existence.

The course runs Sunday 11 June 2-5 pm at the Dissenter`s Gallery, Kensal Green Cemetery.

Existentialist Plumbers Collective at AntiUniversity 11 June

The Existentialist Plumbers Collective is delighted to offer this unique opportunity to gain your PhD in Plunging, hammering & Drilling your way out of an existentialist crisis.  All in just one afternoon and with no student fees!

The collective is part of the AntiUniveristy Now that’s taking place on 10-16thJune. Our crash course in existentialist plumbing will be on the 11th June at the Dissenter’s Gallery. If you are a budding existentialist plumber, or just plain curious, go ahead and book your place today! 

Three most common existentialist plumbing problems and when to call a professional

The importance of routine maintenance tasks in existentialist plumbing cannot be emphasised enough. A regular inspection is the foundation of any maintenance schedule, so take a good look at your existential plumbing. See if corrosive outside environment (i.e. patriarchy) has clogged the pipes, stopped the flow, and damaged the connections. Use your senses: Notice if there are any bad smells that might indicate stagnation or blockage. Remember that the most common problems often have equally common solutions. And if ever in doubt, don’t hesitate to call a professional, such a fully un-qualified representative of the Existentialist Plumbers Collective!

Here are the three most common problems in existential plumbing:

  1. Dripping: Let’s face it, we’ve all had a dripping faucet in our home and have probably ignored it for a while. However, ignoring an existential drip that slowly but surely depletes your being, can be dangerous and should never be ignored for long. Investigate the cause for the dripping. Review the damage and devise a rescue plan. Common DIY solutions include: claiming some space, making yourself unavailable, learning to say no.
  2. Leaking is even more dangerous than dripping. With a leakage one’s confidence, sense of freedom and autonomy are being drained at an ever-increasing speed. It is important to detect the source of this leakage: is there a hole in your being – one that threatens to turn that being into nothingness? Ask yourself, to be or not to be. And if the answer is to be, patch up. Do it quick. This can be messy work, even if you are careful (Existentialist plumbing usually is). Call your existentialist plumber if in doubt.
  3. Slow or clogged drains: Has patriarchy put obstacles in your way? Has it redirected you to the slow lane, from where you now view in astonishment the mediocre white men speeding by on a fast lane, sped along by their bro-mantic aides from every side? It can be disorienting. But are you surprised? Welcome to the world. Would you like to change it? Great, now come along and join the Existentialist Plumbers Collective PhD! Let’s get things flowing again.

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